The Purpose of My Blog

I am not new to blogging but I still have a lot to learn about it. Please allow me to give you an idea of who I am and why I blog. I have forty years of experience of supporting people in their grief. This includes professionally and volunteering as well as in my education.

As a boy people fascinated me. For the most part my fascination continues today. Through the years the ways people process their grief is of particular interest. I maintain every person I come alongside who is grieving is my teacher. The same applies to those I have sat with as they near the end of life. Each person is unique and so is how one grieves.

I call my blog, Scarred Joy. Here is an idea of what Scarred Joy means. Scarred Joy is deep grief leading to hope. It is pure raw pain seeing the light of healing. Scarred Joy is weeping and not knowing if we will smile again. We never lose the scars of our grief. In the scars grief and hope are together. We walk through life being familiar with our scars yet moving forward. We move forward in hope.

My hope for Scarred Joy is that it will inspire people to move forward in their lives. We can cling to hope, whatever hope may be. My tagline for my grief work is, Touched by Grief, Held by Hope.

I do not allow other people to tell me how to grieve. I grieve in a way suited to me. I also never tell other people how to grieve. I do, however, encourage people to not be afraid of their grief. Rather, we can honour our grief. Through grieving we can teach ourselves lessons of who we are. If we listen to ourselves even in grief we may gift ourselves with compassion for other people.

Through compassion we learn to empathize with the pain of others. In the grief and death-denying context of North America compassion is vital. Compassion allows one to hug not only a loved one but also a stranger who is grieving. Compassion is recognizing our grief and that of other people can teach us we are not alone. We are in this grief together. This fact may elude some people but it is still real. I hope you will follow my Scarred Joy blog. Please comment about what your read. Even in this way we may learn from each other.

8 thoughts on “The Purpose of My Blog

  1. Hi Lisa! How are you? Thank you for following my Scarred Joy. 🙂 I haven’t heard from you for a while. I’ll follow you as well. I’ve been distracted by health issues etc. but I will post again soon. Bless you, my friend.


  2. This is beautiful and helpful. And clearly a Godsend because I really needed these words. I am VERY new to blogging. So much so that I cannot even get my page set up right or figure out how to post something where I want it to go so my site is constantly “Under Construction”. I am trying to use writing to help heal certain trauma and grief. Work my way through it and come out on the other side. I blog publicly to introduce the elements of trust and vulnerability, which are new to me. I really do believe (hope) that I can help others, as much as I believe outside perspective will help me. So far I’m spending more time setting up the site than I am writing so that’s no fun. But I’m glad I came across your site. It affirms what I already suspected… that I will learn a lot from my fellow bloggers, so thank you. 🙂 Keep up the great work.


    1. Hi there, my friend! 🙂 I am honoured you commented on my blog. Life threw me a curve so I have cut back a bit on my writing. I am behind in my Scarred Joy posts. I have a few writing projects on the go including a four-part writer’s magazine article on the theme of writing as healing. I am intrigued by your comments along a similar theme. You have tremendous courage to tackle “trust and vulnerability.” Please know I am here for you, if you like. I would love to know more of your story if you think you can trust me.

      Have you checked out the WordPress “help” resources? This is how I have learned blog hints etc. Thank you for your encouragement. 🙂


      1. Well hello there! 🙂 So nice to meet you. My name is Tina. Named after Tina Turner. I got the name, but not the legs! Lol I would love to have you in my corner along this journey. I actually found you from the Therapeutic Writing Institute Love in the Day of Corona series. I haven’t kept up with that overall, but happened to see a comment of yours the other day and low and behold… you had a blog site(!!!) dealing with the very subject I needed most. I don’t believe in coincidence. I think I found you for a reason. If you’re behind on your blogging that’s ok! It’ll give me a chance to read other things you’ve already written. You certainly sound busy enough, and in the best way possible! Sounds like your article will reach and touch many lives. Hopefully, mine included. I thank you in advance. Please keep me in the loop on how that goes. I have a great interest in learning how I can serve others in that same way… facilitating groups where I help people to use writing as healing. Especially disabled veterans. We serve our country, to our ultimate detriment and then struggle to process all that we’ve seen and done and experienced. I’ve been on a quest to find answers. That’s how I found the Therapeutic Writing Institute. I am saving up to take their courses and get certified. In the meantime, I am very much the student, in just about every way. Social media and technology are my weak spots. 😬 But I will learn. I’ve reached out in the Word Press help areas. I will take a crack at what’s been suggested. Wish me luck! 😄 Looking at your page makes me wonder if I’ve made mine too complicated. 🤔 I will make mine public for the next day or two. Hop on if you’d like and see what I mean. I will keep trying! Thanks for reaching out! Let’s keep in touch! 🙂


      2. Hi Tina! I appreciate you keeping in touch. By the way, I’m sure you’re legs are fine. 🙂 I haven’t kept up with the Therapeutic Writing Institute series either. I jump on their every so often. I find my mind gets boggled in trying to keep up with too many writing projects or following those of others. My apologies for not replying here sooner to you. The writing as healing area is a fascinating one for sure. If you are interested in this I recommend you look up Dr. James Pennebaker. He is the pioneer in this field of expressive writing. I’m using a book he co-authored as an update on his original book. The title of it is, “Expressive Writing: Words that Heal,” by James W. Pennebaker and John F. Evans. With your desire to help veterans you may be interested in Sandra Marinella’s book, “The Story You Need to Tell.” She does a lot of work with veterans as well. She is in Phoenix, Arizona. I live in British Columbia, Canada, by the way. 🙂 If you can take courses in Thera peutic Writing Institute I’m sure this will expand your possibilities of helping others. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, however, as you prepare. I’m a retired healthcare chaplain and I respect how important it is for us to make a point of self-care. I may have responded to your message too late but I’ll check out your site if you still have it up. I still need to do a lot of work on my site. I am enjoying getting to know you so much. Take care for now but let’s keep developing our relationship, ok?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello there! So nice to hear from you again, no matter what time has passed. 😉 I haven’t even been on the site lately myself, as household projects have taken over for the moment. 🤯 A little bit of a transitional time. My site has been neglected, but I will open it up again if you want to see. I know how I’d like for it to be, I just have to put some more time into getting there. 😫 Right now there’s nothing really there, except a skeleton of my hopes. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

    Thanks a million (!!!😃) for those book recommendations around using writing to bring healing! I love books that are self help, since I’m always trying to help myself. If there’s a pioneer in this area, I definitely want to follow him! And Sandra’s book as well. (I call her Sandra like we’re old friends! 😂) I look forward to reading her book for sure! Funny you should mention Arizona. I’m in California myself, but always toying around with moving there. Although looking at BC Canada…WOW!!! 😲 That’s certainly easier on the eyes! Majestic beauty! I hear about Canada often. One day I will have to visit for myself. One day when the world is at peace, and this virus and my race no longer hold me still with concern, I will poke around this world. FEARLESSLY! 😊 I look forward to when we can travel again safely. Until then, I love looking at pictures!🤗

    Thanks for reaching out here, in the midst of all your other writing projects! One day I want to be able to say say that I’m busy with actual WRITING projects, rather than household projects! Somehow I always seem to stay busy PREPARING to write, and never getting around to it as consistently as I’d like. But when I do… it’s beautiful! I’m never more certain that I was meant to be a writer, than the times when I’m sitting there doing it! In the thick of it! I have to create more of those moments. Preferably daily.

    I very much like the idea of keeping in touch and getting to know you further. 😊 You have a very gentle way about you. A very kind and loving spirit. I’m not surprised to learn that you were a healthcare Chaplain. Such an awesome thing that you continue that service through the blogs that you post. For that, I thank you again. I will reach out to you on your Contact info if you have that set up on your site. (If you don’t, I do, on mine). We will certainly keep in touch. 😊
    P.S. Doing H.I.I.T workouts 3x a week… workin on those legs! Haha😂😉


    1. Hi Tina! My name is Alan. You probably already figured out “Scarred Joy,” is my blogger name. 🙂
      Writing definitely takes time. I’ve found even a couple hours a day helps in one’s progress as a writer. I try to concentrate on energy rather than time these days for my writing. What I mean is rather than setting a time limit for my writing I focus on what energy I have to concentrate on writing. At times this may be two hours or more. Other days my writing energy may be good for an hour or even a few minutes at a time. I’ve had a health challenge this year and it affected my concentration. For that reason I focus on my writing energy. 🙂
      I still have to set up my contact info on my site. Here is my email address for you. Please feel free to email me anytime.

      Go easy on yourself as you write. You have words inside you who want to fly. Write them down and free them, my friend.
      Take care for now. Don’t forget to email me.


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